No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
