Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
