Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
