Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
