So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
