My friends, they love my intelligence
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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