I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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