I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
