Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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