I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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