there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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