Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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