I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He felt like a one man threesome
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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