I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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