I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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