We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
