i permit you to call me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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