i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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