my being single is dangerous.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
