Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
