Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
