I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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