I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
