3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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