why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
