Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
