I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You need a sexual gate keeper
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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