I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
