I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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