He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
