so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
