I feel great
I just peed on a car
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
