when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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