Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
