He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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