I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
