I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
