I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
