Already got asked if we're dating
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
