how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
