girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
