shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm really into asian looking animals
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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