Dual....:-)
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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