ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
