was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
