How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Randomize
