from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
