you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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