this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
