Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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